[Chapter 2] Life Lessons in Forbearance: Cheese Burgers, Sex, and Chocolate

Lately, My work life has not been the greatest. Yesterday I cried the entirety of the afternoon. This nineteen year old kid I work with always picks on me. I know, I could take him, but for some reason I feel so powerless against him...for some reason I can't stand up to him. The thing that makes me so mad is I'm really nice to him...to everybody! It's like on the episode of Will and Grace when Will starts working with his high school bully in the law office and he makes him do all his paper work...Ugh! I don't even know how to describe how upset I was yesterday, both at myself and that kid. But today is a new day, and I happened to get my shifts covered for work so I didn't have to go in. (Yay for not working a double on a Friday! :D ). Waitressing here is so hard. Kansas yeilds me on average $24 a shift. That's awful. In Chicago I'd walk away with, at the very least on my worst day, $45. It's even worse now because I'm hungry all the time and am surrounded by the enemy. Cheese burgers are my down fall and I happen to work at a famous chain burger joint. I remember last year, when Heath Ledger died, I ate nothing but Big Macs for dinner for a month. That, of course, is the reason I am dieting this year. I don't even want to call it a diet, really. It's a healthy change. I eat LOADs of carbs every day...I think it helps me deal with stress, which is really unhealthy (but, on the upside, I'm not chugging back straight vodka shots daily...not that I was doing that before, because I wasn't. I just know some people that do). Stress is so high right now too...I feel like a Big Mac could cure it! I've been waiting 4 weeks to see if my fiance and I are moving to Iowa. Alan (that's the fiance) has been working on redesigning this bridge for half a year and they are starting construction on it really soon. I just wish I knew if we needed to move there next month or not. I'm also planning a wedding for next May and am trying my hardest to figure out payments and scheduling, which is REALLY hard when you dont live in the state that the wedding is happening in. (My mother tried to tell me that before I moved, but I didn't listen to her. I should have!) I'm also very cold for some reason right now. Maybe I need some socks. In summary, I feel like Kansas has been teaching me a lot of self control and how to deal with douchbaggery in the form of co-workers. I'm doing alright interms. I'm going to go work out my sexual frustrations by doing a ton of sit-ups while watching Design on a Dime. Yay, HGTV. Cough. <3

xox
hilary hope