I wish that I had the attention span of my sister. She can focus on something for a superiorly long time without anything interrupting her. I have focus for about 5 minutes per thing that I try to accomplish; for example, today's blog. I signed on at 9am to write this. It's 10:30am. Where did my time go? I will tell you.
Gmail. Facebook. Flickr. Google Search. Myspace. Pictage. PS3. Facebook. Gmail. Comcast. Gmail. Eblogger.
In exactly that order.
The doctor told me that I have attention deficit disorder, which I already knew from a previous diagnosis. No new information here. I just worry about being abnormal. Mostly, I worry that my communication skills suffer a little from this. But I am really good at forcing myself to pay attention to people when they talk. It's really easy for me to listen after I get eye contact with someone. If I don't get eye contact, then I'm looking at everything and it's hard for me to focus. I've been doing the eye contact thing all through college with my professors and all my life with my friends. But if I can't get eye contact, I don't focus.
Maybe ADD is why I can make friends with so many people. I can only see 5 seconds in front of myself, therefore eliminating any chance of me ever thinking about being slightly embarrassed. "Hello! My name is Hilary. Would you like a vitamin water? I like this tv show. What's your favorite? Are you on facebook?" Comes out of my mouth faster than I can think about not talking. I would hope my personality is my personality and not attributed to a DSM4 recognized mental disorder.
Alan told me I'm over thinking because I've got too much going on in my brain. He's right. It's like thoughts are super bouncy balls you get out of the machines with quarters, except someone dumped the machine over and all the balls are bouncing off the walls inside my skull.
I read this thing that said women with ADD and Dyslexia (me again!) are among the most creative in the world. I think that may be because we bore easily.
I'm sorry if I ever get bored while talking to you, strool pieta!
I love you and happy Thursday!
-hilary hope bloomquist
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
[Chapter 14:] How to Get Hitched
I get married in 4 days. Can you believe that strool pieta? I am a little overwhelmed to say the least. Not with the thought of marrying Alan, because he is absolutely amazing and quite frankly, the sweetest thing (even more than the delicious java chip frappe-which I had my first of today at the Starbucks outside my parent's house). There is a lot of stuff to do and I just don't know if anyone knows how I feel right now. I think I need a hug.
Also---super gross---but I am breaking out on my CHIN! GAH. I feel like the girl in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Except I'm Italian mostly, and they just shout rather than take action against the zit. Hilary! Holy crap you have a huge thing on your chin!! My grandma yells at me from the laundry room. You can see it from there? I ask innocently. Holy Hell they can see it in New York City! What are you going to do about it?? Dear God! I hope that goes away in time for the wedding
Ugh! Well, we'll see... Yesterday we went out for the bachelorette party and my sister looked at me and said, "Wouldn't it suck if you died before your wedding?" Oh, Madalyn. How your sarcasm seeps into my soul. I hope these next few dance practices go alright. I'd like to walk away with my heart still beating.
I can't wait for Bermuda. I might cut off all my hair while I'm there. Don't kill me if I do.
Until I'm a Mrs., this is Hilary Hope McHale signing off.
PS. Wedding weight update: My bust size is now 4 inches smaller than it was in my last post. That means I've dropped a poop ton of cleavage in the last couple months. My waist is a 34 and my hips are a 42. Yay Wedding Dress! My final fitting is tomorrow! Hope it still fits!
Also---super gross---but I am breaking out on my CHIN! GAH. I feel like the girl in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Except I'm Italian mostly, and they just shout rather than take action against the zit. Hilary! Holy crap you have a huge thing on your chin!! My grandma yells at me from the laundry room. You can see it from there? I ask innocently. Holy Hell they can see it in New York City! What are you going to do about it?? Dear God! I hope that goes away in time for the wedding
Ugh! Well, we'll see... Yesterday we went out for the bachelorette party and my sister looked at me and said, "Wouldn't it suck if you died before your wedding?" Oh, Madalyn. How your sarcasm seeps into my soul. I hope these next few dance practices go alright. I'd like to walk away with my heart still beating.
I can't wait for Bermuda. I might cut off all my hair while I'm there. Don't kill me if I do.
Until I'm a Mrs., this is Hilary Hope McHale signing off.
PS. Wedding weight update: My bust size is now 4 inches smaller than it was in my last post. That means I've dropped a poop ton of cleavage in the last couple months. My waist is a 34 and my hips are a 42. Yay Wedding Dress! My final fitting is tomorrow! Hope it still fits!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Chapter [10]: When life gives you the internet, use it to your advantage
I'm trying to get reset up on twitter...if that makes any sense. Please "friend me?" Is that even what it's called? I think it's "follow me." I hope I don't sound too desperate. I probably do...awkward...
On a side note; I'm skinnier now! My wedding dress zipped all the way to the top, which made me so excited I almost fell over.
More later, I promise. I'm helping my dad install hardwood floor. I'll be back after I'm done and conclude this post. *hatcha*
On a side note; I'm skinnier now! My wedding dress zipped all the way to the top, which made me so excited I almost fell over.
More later, I promise. I'm helping my dad install hardwood floor. I'll be back after I'm done and conclude this post. *hatcha*
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
[Chapter 8] Sometimes A Song is All You Need
We sent out the S.O.S. call.
It was a quarter past four, in the morning
When the storm broke our second anchor line.
Four months at sea. Four months of calm seas {only}
To be pounded in the shallows off the tip of Montauk Point.
They call 'em rows. They travel fast and alone.
One hundred foot faces of God's good ocean gone wrong.
What they call love is a risk,
'Cause you will always get hit
Out of nowhere by some wave
And end up on your own.
The hole in the hull defied the crew’s attempts,
To bail us out.
And flooded the engines and radio,
And half buried bow.
Your tongue is a rudder.
It steers the whole ship.
Sends your words past your lips
Or keeps them safe behind your teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you.
Come off course while you sleep.
Sweep your boat out to sea
Or dashed to bits on the reef.
The vessel groans
The ocean pressures its frame.
To the port I see the lighthouse
Through the sleet and the rain.
And I wish for one more day to give my
Love and repay debts.
But the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west.
They say that the captain stays fast with the ship,
Through still and storm,
But this ain't the Dakota,
And the water's so cold,
{We} won't have to fight for long.
(This is the end.)
This story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear,
(This is the calm.)
Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath,
(We are the risen.)
I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea,
(After the storm.)
I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean,
(Rest in the sea.)
I know that this is what you want, a funeral keeps both of us apart.
(Washed up on the beach.)
You know that you are not alone, I need you like water in my lungs.
[x2]
This is the end.
...You never do see any other way...
It was a quarter past four, in the morning
When the storm broke our second anchor line.
Four months at sea. Four months of calm seas {only}
To be pounded in the shallows off the tip of Montauk Point.
They call 'em rows. They travel fast and alone.
One hundred foot faces of God's good ocean gone wrong.
What they call love is a risk,
'Cause you will always get hit
Out of nowhere by some wave
And end up on your own.
The hole in the hull defied the crew’s attempts,
To bail us out.
And flooded the engines and radio,
And half buried bow.
Your tongue is a rudder.
It steers the whole ship.
Sends your words past your lips
Or keeps them safe behind your teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you.
Come off course while you sleep.
Sweep your boat out to sea
Or dashed to bits on the reef.
The vessel groans
The ocean pressures its frame.
To the port I see the lighthouse
Through the sleet and the rain.
And I wish for one more day to give my
Love and repay debts.
But the morning finds our bodies washed up thirty miles west.
They say that the captain stays fast with the ship,
Through still and storm,
But this ain't the Dakota,
And the water's so cold,
{We} won't have to fight for long.
(This is the end.)
This story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear,
(This is the calm.)
Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath,
(We are the risen.)
I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea,
(After the storm.)
I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean,
(Rest in the sea.)
I know that this is what you want, a funeral keeps both of us apart.
(Washed up on the beach.)
You know that you are not alone, I need you like water in my lungs.
[x2]
This is the end.
...You never do see any other way...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Chapter 7: Why are boobs good?
I've been on this diet for the past few weeks. I've got to lose weight in the hip/butt area of my body to be able to fit into my gorgeous wedding dress that I bought at an awesome price (part of the deal was that they discontinued the dress and they only had the one size left). I measured myself four weeks ago and the measurements were as follows:
Bust: 42
Waist: 38
Hips: 44.
Butt: 46
The measurements for the dress are
Bust: 40 or 41 (can't remember)
Waist: 36
Hips/Butt: 40 or 41 (can't remember)
Currently I am here:
Bust: 41
Waist: 36
Fattest Part of My Belly Around my belly button: 41.5
Hips:41
Butt: 42.5
That means I've lost an inch in my boobs. Sadness. But joy because my Butt has dropped down to a voluminous 42.5 instead of a bouncy 46. I looked hot today. Hatcha. ;)
Aside from being sexy, I am also sad. Today was a rough. I've been without carbohydrates for quite some time and I took a binge day at the local buffet. Apparently, in the middle of nowhere, there are only 6 to 8 local restaurants to chose from outside the strip from the mile of fast food places starting at Arby's and ending at Taco Bell. The buffet was called "Ryan's." Now, does an actual Ryan own it? I can't say for sure. What I can tell you is that the mac 'n cheese was surprisingly delicious. I had two plates of it, and a load of ice cream.
I've been waiting to hear back about this job that I applied for. If I got it, then I would feel total fulfillment in life...yes, it's that sort of a career job. However, if I don't get it...then epic fail (I hate that term and I have no idea why I use it so often). If that were to happen, if I didn't get the job, I would probably binge out on Culver's (located conveniently in between the McDonald's and the KFC) and gain that inch back in Harry and Sally before you could count to 5. Let's just pray it doesn't come to that.
Alan has been working like crazy. I haven't seen him at all this week and I miss him so much. He's been working on that bridge like his life depends on it. I guess it does because that's our income, so who can blame him? (Side note: I'm thinking of naming the bridge. Any suggestions?) Today he woke up at 4:30am and left at 5am. He didn't get home until 7pm. By that time, I was craving comfort food so badly from the stress of both not seeing him, the fact that I was already hungry, and that I hadn't heard back from the photo company yet about the job. Carbohydrates were in my future and I could just sense the forces of nature telling me to eat them...EAT THEM.
Do you think I'm weird Strool Pieta? Is it weird for a 21 year old to be engaged and hungry all the time? I feel so out of place in the world. I guess that's not a new feeling. I have never known anyone who has looked like me or acted like me really. I guess Alan gets pretty crazy, so he acts sort of like me, but he doesn't need the same things I do. For instance, I really need to be around people. I'm not sure if he needs that as much as me. Most importantly, I need to be around him. I don't know if he knows that either. I guess I need to talk to him.
There is a possibility that I may be coming home for Halloween. I hope it happens. I miss everyone and everything about Illinois.
Good night strool pieta. Get some rest and I'll hug you in the morning.
hilary hope
Bust: 42
Waist: 38
Hips: 44.
Butt: 46
The measurements for the dress are
Bust: 40 or 41 (can't remember)
Waist: 36
Hips/Butt: 40 or 41 (can't remember)
Currently I am here:
Bust: 41
Waist: 36
Fattest Part of My Belly Around my belly button: 41.5
Hips:41
Butt: 42.5
That means I've lost an inch in my boobs. Sadness. But joy because my Butt has dropped down to a voluminous 42.5 instead of a bouncy 46. I looked hot today. Hatcha. ;)
Aside from being sexy, I am also sad. Today was a rough. I've been without carbohydrates for quite some time and I took a binge day at the local buffet. Apparently, in the middle of nowhere, there are only 6 to 8 local restaurants to chose from outside the strip from the mile of fast food places starting at Arby's and ending at Taco Bell. The buffet was called "Ryan's." Now, does an actual Ryan own it? I can't say for sure. What I can tell you is that the mac 'n cheese was surprisingly delicious. I had two plates of it, and a load of ice cream.
I've been waiting to hear back about this job that I applied for. If I got it, then I would feel total fulfillment in life...yes, it's that sort of a career job. However, if I don't get it...then epic fail (I hate that term and I have no idea why I use it so often). If that were to happen, if I didn't get the job, I would probably binge out on Culver's (located conveniently in between the McDonald's and the KFC) and gain that inch back in Harry and Sally before you could count to 5. Let's just pray it doesn't come to that.
Alan has been working like crazy. I haven't seen him at all this week and I miss him so much. He's been working on that bridge like his life depends on it. I guess it does because that's our income, so who can blame him? (Side note: I'm thinking of naming the bridge. Any suggestions?) Today he woke up at 4:30am and left at 5am. He didn't get home until 7pm. By that time, I was craving comfort food so badly from the stress of both not seeing him, the fact that I was already hungry, and that I hadn't heard back from the photo company yet about the job. Carbohydrates were in my future and I could just sense the forces of nature telling me to eat them...EAT THEM.
Do you think I'm weird Strool Pieta? Is it weird for a 21 year old to be engaged and hungry all the time? I feel so out of place in the world. I guess that's not a new feeling. I have never known anyone who has looked like me or acted like me really. I guess Alan gets pretty crazy, so he acts sort of like me, but he doesn't need the same things I do. For instance, I really need to be around people. I'm not sure if he needs that as much as me. Most importantly, I need to be around him. I don't know if he knows that either. I guess I need to talk to him.
There is a possibility that I may be coming home for Halloween. I hope it happens. I miss everyone and everything about Illinois.
Good night strool pieta. Get some rest and I'll hug you in the morning.
hilary hope
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Outside the Book: An Epilogue to Another Blog
My dear Breanna and I have embarked upon a challenge in finding interesting pictures through words we provide each other. This weeks list was as follows: Girl, Flower, Sunglasses, Crying, Love, Picture Frame, Ring, Hammer, Radio, Record.
Now, For this photo I chose "love" to be the reaction between the two puppies, Ethel and Harley. Ethel is the bulldog. Harley is the bassett hound. Ethel is wearing a pink collar, symbolizing that she's my "girl," and she also has a "ring" around the collar. The "flower" is centered behind the dogs. Sunglasses are lacking here...Harley wouldn't wear them. The "picture frame" is photoshopped in around as a border. Hammer...I didn't get. I went with wheel barrow instead...haha. I feel like Harley is "crying" to get out of this mess...but frankly I don't think that this would be quite fair to claim. I guess I really only legitimately have Girl, Flower, Love, Picture Frame, and Ring...you could say the picture itself is a "record" in time...hahah...you could say that...but you know, art is all subjective. ;) Oh, boy. Haha. Next time I'll get all the words without having to push the limit (I hope).
Also, I may move this whole entry to another blog...since this one is my personal one. I might just co-start one with Breanna...or figure out how to post pictures on hers. We're doing this every week. :D
love you strool pieta,
hilary hope
Now, For this photo I chose "love" to be the reaction between the two puppies, Ethel and Harley. Ethel is the bulldog. Harley is the bassett hound. Ethel is wearing a pink collar, symbolizing that she's my "girl," and she also has a "ring" around the collar. The "flower" is centered behind the dogs. Sunglasses are lacking here...Harley wouldn't wear them. The "picture frame" is photoshopped in around as a border. Hammer...I didn't get. I went with wheel barrow instead...haha. I feel like Harley is "crying" to get out of this mess...but frankly I don't think that this would be quite fair to claim. I guess I really only legitimately have Girl, Flower, Love, Picture Frame, and Ring...you could say the picture itself is a "record" in time...hahah...you could say that...but you know, art is all subjective. ;) Oh, boy. Haha. Next time I'll get all the words without having to push the limit (I hope).
Also, I may move this whole entry to another blog...since this one is my personal one. I might just co-start one with Breanna...or figure out how to post pictures on hers. We're doing this every week. :D
love you strool pieta,
hilary hope
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
[Chapter 6] Life Happens Out of Order and In Incomplete Sentences
I divided my paragraphs with numbers! List writing helps me breathe better.
1. I went basement hunting a few days ago after watching "Cash in the Attic." (Again, I'm addicted to HGTV). My house was constructed in the late 1800's (Alan and I saw it on a map for 1893) so I figured there might be some cool stuff down there. But actually, there wasn't anything too old to be found. I did however find boxes full of the GNARLIEST art supplies. If I would have stumbled upon such a copious amount of art love before last semester, I'd be hundreds of dollars richer. Yes sir, there was that much art stuff in my basement. It may have been from the 70's, but all the paint was still wet, the intaglio supplies still good, and the paper still writable. Life's funny like that. It gives you everything sometimes, just after you feel like you don't need it anymore.
2. A weirdo was in front of my house yesterday before I left for work. He had a backpack and a suitcase in his hand and he was staring at me from next to my car. I walked down from my porch and into my car. He didn't move. It was unnerving. I freaked out actually and called Alan immediately. I was worried he was casing my house, of course. When I got home yesterday and all my stuff was still here, though, the feeling submerged. I guess it wasn't worth it. Hah. But if for some reason, I'm dead in the next week...he was blonde and 5 foot 7.
3. I put my two weeks notice in today. Yes, I quit my job. It turns out we are moving to Burlington after all. I just need some time to figure out my life a little bit more. For the last few weeks, I've been finding myself sitting in the park in downtown KCMO when I get out of work. There is this lovely little setup in the park so you can look out at the rail yards that separate KCK from KCMO. My head is always in my hands and my eyes are always to the ground out infront of me. I don't want to end up like these abandoned railways, once useful...but now outdated...just never having found a lasting purpose. I don't want to be a wrought iron track people walk all over. I don't want to be a waitress anymore.
4. I wrote a new song. I really want to record it but my computer is still super slow, but I'm supposed to get a hard drive for it soon. (Cross your fingers). I need to sing, LOUD and AIRY. I feel a lot like my free form thinking is moving to this awful box like state of mind. I need to embrace my creativity soon. I haven't taken a picture since 3 weeks ago.
5. I love you and have to go to bed now, even though I can sleep in as long as I want too, but I'd better not. I better go hiking or biking or running...because soon I'll be old and it'd be worse if I were old and fat.
Can you tell I'm kinda sad right now? Oh, boy.
Good night, Strool pieta. xoxo.
1. I went basement hunting a few days ago after watching "Cash in the Attic." (Again, I'm addicted to HGTV). My house was constructed in the late 1800's (Alan and I saw it on a map for 1893) so I figured there might be some cool stuff down there. But actually, there wasn't anything too old to be found. I did however find boxes full of the GNARLIEST art supplies. If I would have stumbled upon such a copious amount of art love before last semester, I'd be hundreds of dollars richer. Yes sir, there was that much art stuff in my basement. It may have been from the 70's, but all the paint was still wet, the intaglio supplies still good, and the paper still writable. Life's funny like that. It gives you everything sometimes, just after you feel like you don't need it anymore.
2. A weirdo was in front of my house yesterday before I left for work. He had a backpack and a suitcase in his hand and he was staring at me from next to my car. I walked down from my porch and into my car. He didn't move. It was unnerving. I freaked out actually and called Alan immediately. I was worried he was casing my house, of course. When I got home yesterday and all my stuff was still here, though, the feeling submerged. I guess it wasn't worth it. Hah. But if for some reason, I'm dead in the next week...he was blonde and 5 foot 7.
3. I put my two weeks notice in today. Yes, I quit my job. It turns out we are moving to Burlington after all. I just need some time to figure out my life a little bit more. For the last few weeks, I've been finding myself sitting in the park in downtown KCMO when I get out of work. There is this lovely little setup in the park so you can look out at the rail yards that separate KCK from KCMO. My head is always in my hands and my eyes are always to the ground out infront of me. I don't want to end up like these abandoned railways, once useful...but now outdated...just never having found a lasting purpose. I don't want to be a wrought iron track people walk all over. I don't want to be a waitress anymore.
4. I wrote a new song. I really want to record it but my computer is still super slow, but I'm supposed to get a hard drive for it soon. (Cross your fingers). I need to sing, LOUD and AIRY. I feel a lot like my free form thinking is moving to this awful box like state of mind. I need to embrace my creativity soon. I haven't taken a picture since 3 weeks ago.
5. I love you and have to go to bed now, even though I can sleep in as long as I want too, but I'd better not. I better go hiking or biking or running...because soon I'll be old and it'd be worse if I were old and fat.
Can you tell I'm kinda sad right now? Oh, boy.
Good night, Strool pieta. xoxo.
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